Relationship Advice.... As Told By A 10 Year Old

So I recently went through a breakup. And as much as that sucks and all, times like these always remind me of all of the good things in my life. I was surrounded by my best friends the entire weekend that kept me busy and laughing til I cried (& also patiently listened to me when I was incoherently sobbing). At night we were exhausted, so we were just sitting in the living room trying not to fall asleep when we started asking Laura's 10 year old brother relationship advice. Surprisingly, he had some really insightful answers, and I figured I'd write them down to help anyone else going through this sucky period of growing up, moving on, and falling out of love.

Laura: Cody, how do we keep a man?
Cody: Well, on the first date, don't be sloppy. Don't be like Laura and wear sweatpants and your hair up in a bun. On the second date, you have to ask him not to break up with you. On the third date, you have to buy him something.
Laura: What can we buy him?
Cody: Well maybe like a watch or ring or something. But don't worry. I got Grandma a diamond watch at Jc Penny's for only $10!

Me: How do we get over a breakup?
C: Well, you start off by just going into your room for a while to be sad. You bring a box of donuts with you. Then when you're done, you go out into the world to find a new man!
Me: Ha! Now that I can do!

Ashley: What if we're not sad about a breakup, just mad? Then what do we do?
C: You DON'T do what Laura does and get their picture and hang it up everywhere in your room. You just get their picture and put it on a dartboard! Also, you go to a carnival and go play one of those mean games. The best one is the game with the hammer that you bang down. That way, you can get all your anger out on the game AND you get a prize out of it!

Laura: What do you look for in a girl?
C: First, if she's a Christian or not. Then looks. Then, if she burps at the dinner table or not.
Laura: Oh dang I'm out.
Me: Yeah me too.
Emily: Yup.
Ashley: Dang it! I am too!

Laura: When is it okay to kiss a guy?
C: Probably, the fifth date.
L: Dang Jim Bob Duggar!
C: So, maybe the first date then.

Me: How do you know if a guy likes you or not?
C: He'll bring you stuff. Like food or flowers or a card. I wrote and sang songs to the girl I love.

Long story short, don't ever get too depressed over a breakup. There are tons of ways to get over it, and a whole world full of boys that surprisingly understand the intricate details of women.